After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
