Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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