Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
