we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
