All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
