He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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