I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
