yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
