my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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