Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
