when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
