if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
