I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
