The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
