Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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