I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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