don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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