Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
