sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
