She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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