I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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