My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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