We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
smell my finger.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We are two peas in an std pod
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
