Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
