he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
