dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
