i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
