We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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