i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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