He told me they were just razor bumps!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
