I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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