i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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