I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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