think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
