It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
