Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
