Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
