So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
