Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
