dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
