After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
