Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
