Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
