I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He did a backflip because drugs
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