On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
