I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
