Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I want a musical about memes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
