i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
