I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
