Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just cropdusted the office

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(479): View more from Arkansas

he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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(516): View more from New York

we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

(914): View more from New York

isnt today saturday?

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(760): View more from California

I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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(309): View more from Illinois

We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

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(760): View more from California

He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.

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